Pork Grind

Pork Grind's History

Pork Grind was an Austrian villain in the Aniverse (where everyone is a talking animal). He studied at the Toon U, where he learned how to fight toon-style. He also got familiar with Austrian features, including girl guides - who are surprisingly hostile and hard.

At a later point, Pork Grind was recruited by the extradimensional supervillain Negative Forbush-Man, who had gotten godlike abilities due to the Infinity Wart. Negative Forbush-Man was mixing several universes so he could rule them all together, but he expected oposition, among others, from Aniverse superhero Spider-Ham, whom he was secretly monitoring. Believing that Pork Grind could be seen as an evil version of Spider-Ham, Negative Forbush-Man recruited Pork Grind to fight Spider-Ham and his allies. Pork Grind agreed and travelled to the U.S. for the fight, while Negative Forbush-Man monitored all the action via hidden cameras.

When Pork Grind reached the States, Spider-Ham was team-upping with Milk and Cookies, two displaced superheroes from a different universe (after the mandatory welcome fight), and they were idly chatting about how Milk and Cookies had fought evil versions of themselves while Spider-Ham had never done so and wondered how it would be so. Pork Grind entered threatening them all, although Spider-Ham did not immediately recognized him as his evil doppleganger.

Behaving like a toon, Grind strangled Cookies with a hand and send them far; he then battered Milk and grabbed her pseudo-hair, while making puns on their enemies (which were a pun themselves). While Pork Grind was familiar with the toon environment, Milk and Cookies were not, so Pork Grind made short work of them. Spider-Ham tried to tell them that they should fight toon-style, but Pork Grind turned to Spider-Ham due to his meddling.

Spider-Ham then opposed Pork Grind by grabbing the Austrian's nose and throwing until it looked like an elephant's trunk, all the while explaining that this was harmless toon stuff. Pork Grind reacted by hammering Spider-Ham with a mace, stretching him and punching him on the chest, while Spider-Ham let him do in an effort to teach Milk and Cookies. Finally, Pork Grind pressed Spider-Ham into a ball and threw him away, while making cooking metaphors.

Unfortunately, neither Milk nor Cookies had really studied the toon fighting style. They tried to fight Pork Grind, but Pork Grind punched them, broke Cookies and spilled Milk, making puns after that.

Spider-Ham took that time to recover and then he ate "toon spinach", which maximized his muscles. Pork Grind complained that spinach did not cause that effect, but Spider-Ham insisted that they did in his comic-book if he willed it so. Spider-Ham then knocked Pork Grind down hitting him on the nose and folding it like an accordion. Just recovering Milk and Cookies were impressed, the latter especially with the nose-pulling trick. The three heroes gathered to think about the available hints, with Milk sitting on the unconscious Pork Grind.

Negative Forbush, secretly spying, had seen Pork Grind's defeat and he found it unfortunate, but he considered that his spycam was still an advantage. Unfortunately, it was destroyed soon afterward.