Catastrophe's History
In an Alternate Universe out there, A young lady executive, a beleaguered Taylor Swift, her top apparently ripped off, down to not much more than her short skirt and sheer stockings, fights for her life against several assailants in an office on the top floor of a high-rise building and is unexpectedly aided in her struggle by a mysterious dubious-looking superheroine type called Arsyn. Not that she really needed help, she was doing fine on her own, dishing out defiance. Just as their battle seems won, though, she is, for no apparent reason, betrayed by her buddy, treacherously tossed out the window, to fall down onto the collapsing roof of a Jaguar sports car far down below, where the beauty lies stunned. Surviving, she joins a training facility where Welvin da Great's (Kendrick Lamar) Henchwomen are. and so, she becomes a Vigilante. Calling herself Catastrophe.
Welvin da Great's Henchwomen turned up in full force to show their support. Selena Gomez appears as Arsyn, our heroine's nemesis, with a hint at Katy Perry. Lena Dunham is cigar-smoking Lucky Fiori. The Trinity, a self-duplicated group of three, is played by Hailee Steinfeld. Serayah is Dilemma, and Gigi Hadid is Slay-Z. As Destructa X, nobody less than Ellie Goulding, who has a knack for handling a rocket launcher. Martha Hunt is HomeSlice, Cara Delevingne is Mother Chucker, Zandaya appears as Cut-Throat. Hayley Williams in a cheap red dodgy-looking fright wig as The Crimson Curse, Lily Aldridge as Frostbyte, Karlie Kloss as Knockout, and former Dark Angel (2000) lead Jessica Alba as Domino. Further rounding out the cast are Mariska Hargitay as Justice, Ellen Pompeo as Luna, and surprise, surprise, original supermodel Cindy Crawford as Headmistress. Truth is though, this plentitude of bravura characters all appears fleetingly, and keeping track of them would be difficult at best. Suffice to say that Taylor shines the brightest, and, gee, that's the game plan. Flying kicks are delivered, nubile costumed bodies dash about, Catastrophe more than holds her own against whomever dares to stand in her way, good triumphs over evil, at the cost of an exploding city. But the damage has been done. All because of nasty Katy, er, Arsyn...
